2023 - Living to the Extreme

I can't remember the exact day because it's all a blur, but it's been three years since I moved into my little apartment and downstairs from two of the dearest people on this planet to me. So much has changed since early 2019 when I ventured out on my own for the first time since I was 19. The first bit that I spent with a roommate was an utter disaster, but that's part of figuring things out. I never really had the chance, even back at 19, to go forth and figure out things on my own. So getting the bad out of the way meant that some good should be around the corner.

Boy does my utter glass half-full mentality keep me optimistic, though. The possibility of being where I am (sitting right now typing this) couldn't have happened if not for the suggestion of Keith and already knowing how safe and at home that he makes me feel nearly effortlessly. Not to mention how much of a great support and boost that he is no matter if I get some great news or come home after a rough day. The same thing goes from me for him. There's nothing I want to do more on an afternoon than pull into this driveway, even if just between my regular working hours and a work event. I want to come home and soak up being with my people for just a little bit. For the first time in my life, I don't dread going home. I feel safe, I feel welcome, I feel relaxed, I feel a reduction of the ball of anxiety that I carry all day, and I feel like I belong in ways that I cannot put into words. My heart is the fullest that it's ever been.

One of my biggest goals was getting my finances to a state where I don't have to look at my bank account each week hoping that a bill doesn't put me under the red line. Do you know how incredible it is to know that I can actually leave the majority of my bills on autopay because I don't have to worry about not having enough in my bank account by a certain day? It sounds silly but I couldn't do that even at this time last year or literally since coming back from Sicily in 2011. Through Covid, forget it, my Military Star card saved the day many times through the pandemic and bless those who finally made it so we can use it at the Commissary. Now that I've paid off my car, paying down that card is my next step. Having financial responsibility hammered into me throughout my years in the Navy really made me strive to get to this point and possibly having capital to actually invest in something. I still haven't had a full time job since I departed the Navy, but that will come with time I suppose. I'd really like this work/life balance to have some less work to it and more life.

All of that to say that it feels really good to look back on the past three to four years and see some amazing forward progression, no matter how slow the results are to show up. I got into grad school with one of the best ALA-accredited programs in the country (even if their Financial Aid department denied me that sweet scholarship) and am on track to graduate (hopefully) in May of 2024. I'm still blown away when I introduce myself to someone that I look up to in this city and they know who I am or when a Springfield neighbor pulls me aside at an event to say "we know how hard you work." Being recognized like that, when I've been giving my time, blood, sweat, and many many tears for over a decade to my city via the nonprofits and issues that I support and love, is literally the only thanks I need. The Navy taught me how to be of service to not just your squadron or shipmates, but to your community as a whole, and that's literally all I strive to do.

June of 2024 will mark 20 years that I've called Jacksonville home, which is utterly insane to me. I never thought I'd stay in one place for more than 3-4 years once leaving CT, let alone two decades. The 19 year old kid, who started off living in the barracks at NAS Jax without a car walking to the flight line and eating every meal at the galley, would be mystified at the life she's built or the fact that she's still in Jax (HA!) 20 years later.